Cemetery - Noisy
Grandpa decided he wanted to pick a family lot in the local cemetery. The custodian showed them lots that bordered along the heavily-travled highway, and lots farther back that were much more quiet. Most of the family opted for a lot near the highway.
"More people will see your headstone there, Grandpa," they argued. But grandpa would have none of that. Wanting to have a peaceful grave, he insisted : "It's too noisy out there."
Champion - Resting
A first grader proudly showed his mother the gold star he had earned in school.
"We get these for what we do best," he explained.
"And what do you do best?" she asked.
"I'm the best rester!" beamed the boy.
Chickness - Bricklayers
The county agent called to see Farmer Smith's flock of laying hens. Not a hen was in sight, so he asked Farmer Smith where the hens were.
"Well, sir," answered the farmer, "they're all up to the new school house."
"What can a hen learn at school?" asked the agent.
"WELL," explained the farmer, "them hens heard that a bunch of men were up there laying bricks. That was just too much for them. They went to see for themselves."
Child - Age
On his fifth birthday, rambunctious little Peter was asked by a relative how old he was. Peter proudly held up all five digits of his one hand and praclaimed, "I'm a whole handful."
His mother wearily sighed, "You've been that for years!"
Child - Night Prayer
The explorer, who had been away 2 years, picked up his mail at the remote island outpost.
In the mail was a letter in which his wife described a prayer their 4-year-old son recently made. She quoted :
"Dear Lord, please send me a liitle baby sister so we will have something to surprise Daddy with when he comes home."
Child - Punishment
A little boy refused an invitation to visit in the country. No amount of coaxing, pleading, arguing, or promises could change the youngster's mind.
"No country for me!" he declared determinedly.
"But why not?" someone asked him finally.
"Because," he said, "they have threshin' machines down there and it's bad enough here where it's done by hand."
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